The One Part of a Meltdown You Can Actually Control
Happy Thursday! You made it!
So many of you have reached out asking for more on emotion regulation – and I have good news: I am a meltdown expert. Not just because I had plenty as a kid (I did), or because my own kids threw their fair share (they did), but because every story I hear – from what triggered it to how the recovery went – adds to my Master’s Degree in Meltdowns.
Most meltdowns follow a familiar pattern:
Something’s brewing in the background. It might be small – like a schedule tweak or a different classroom table – but it throws your child into heightened alertness.
A triggering event – not getting their way, something unexpected – sets things off.
The meltdown itself. You know it. You’ve seen it. 😅
The parents’ response, which either speeds up or slows down recovery.
Here’s the thing: You can only control one of these – #4.
And when parents ask how to stop meltdowns, I tell them the truth: You can’t. And even if you could, I wouldn’t want you to. (I know. Stay with me.)
Every meltdown is a chance for your child to practice navigating hard stuff. Learning doesn’t come from smooth paths – it comes from experiencing and recovering from life’s little bumps. We don’t need to create discomfort, but when it shows up, we can model staying grounded when things don’t go just right.
Next week, I’ll dive into how to respond when your child is fully dysregulated. But for now, let’s all practice being a little uncomfortable.
📚Resource of the Week: My favorite picture book about meltdowns: When Sophie Gets Angry– Really, Really Angry… by Molly Bang. What I love most? It doesn’t gloss over the rage-fueled adrenaline rush that we all feel when enraged, and normalizes needing big body movements to settle down. Taking deep breaths isn’t always the best way to go; sometimes you need to climb a big tree.
💬 Join the Conversation:
Find me where the slightly overwhelmed, curious parents gather: Bluesky / Instagram/ Tik-Tok
📚Newsletter Archive:
Missed a good one? Want to revisit past nuggets of wisdom? Find them all here.
👋 Need More Support?
If you feel like it’s meltdown after meltdown, reach out here. Parenting doesn’t have to be this hard.
You’ve got this.
Cari
p.s. Know another parent who could use short, sweet, and actually useful parenting tips? Forward this along! (And if someone sent this to you—nice work, you have thoughtful friends!) Click here to sign up and access the full archive.
