The 3-Word Trick for Calmer Meltdowns
Happy Thursday! You made it!
There was a collective gasp last week when I said that you can’t make your child’s meltdowns stop… followed by a collective sigh. Because–WOW– what a weight off your shoulders.
Instead of hunting for the magic formula to stop the madness (spoiler: there isn’t one), you get to focus on the one thing you actually can control: your reaction.
Here’s where a little brain science goes a long way. Last week, I said that every meltdown has four components: something brewing in the background, a triggering event, the meltdown itself, and the parents’ response. But there’s one more sneaky ingredient that makes meltdowns extra explosive: speed.
Think about it – when your child gets more upset, they talk faster, move faster, even breathe faster. That’s because they’ve entered “Protection Mode,” also known as fight-or-flight. And when we respond with urgency? We unintentionally crank up their nervous system even more.
But here’s the good news: while you can’t stop a meltdown, you can keep it from spiraling. The secret? Three simple words: Low. Slow. Soft.
Let’s break that down:
Low: Get on your child’s level – crouch, sit, or kneel on the floor. This signals connection.
Slow: Move and speak more slowly than what feels natural. It cues your child that there’s no emergency.
Soft: Soften your voice, facial muscles, and overall vibe to help calm the storm.
This shift helps your child return to “Connection Mode,” where things feel slower, safer, and more manageable.
📚Resource of the Week:
What to Do When Your Temper Flares by Dawn Huebner explains anger in kid-friendly ways and offers grounded, practical strategies. older kids to read themselves – or to read with your littles.
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You’ve got this.
Cari
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