Why Logic Fails When Emotions Run High
Happy Thursday! You made it!
(I dropped a tiny request at the bottom of this message, so if you’re in a helpful mood, please check out the p.p.s. 🩵) But first…
Ever tried to reason with your child in the middle of a meltdown, only to feel like you’re talking to a wall?
That’s not a parenting fail. It’s brain science.
When your child is emotionally triggered — by a tipped-over tower, a canceled playdate, or a heartbreak you saw coming a mile away — their amygdala (the brain’s alarm system) hijacks the show. That emotional surge sends a message of danger through the body, shutting down the part of the brain responsible for logic and reasoning.
That’s why:
“You can rebuild the tower” doesn’t help.
“There will be another playdate soon” doesn’t comfort.
“You’ll fall in love again someday soon” doesn’t soothe.
Their rational brain is temporarily offline. Your calm, well-meaning words can’t reach them.
🧠Real World Strategy:
When your child is mid-storm, skip the pep talk. Instead:
Stay close (if they’ll let you). Presence matters more than words.
Say less, check back later. “I’m here when you’re ready.” Then, follow up in 5, 20, or even 35 minutes, depending on their age.
Give it time. It takes about 30 minutes for adrenaline to leave the bloodstream. Calming down is a process, not a switch.
Burn it off. Exercise or slow breathing can help them regulate faster than logic ever could.
You can’t shortcut emotional regulation, but you can support it. And in the process, you’ll be modeling how to stay grounded in the face of big feelings.
🌊Current Clients– Want to dive deeper?
To learn more about how your child’s brain works, check out Parenting in the Real World: Dissect the Nervous System (Level 1, Course 3, Section 2).
đź“šResource of the Week:
Freeing Freddie the Dreamweaver is a beautiful, kid-friendly way for the whole family to explore and practice emotion regulation. There are programs for children to do independently, as well as activities for the whole family to enjoy together. Use code CARIN10 at checkout to save 10% on all the books and programs on their website.
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If you feel like it’s meltdown after meltdown, reach out here. Parenting doesn’t have to be this hard.
You’ve got this.
Cari
p.s. Know another parent who could use short, sweet, and actually useful parenting tips? Forward this along! (And if someone sent this to you—nice work, you have thoughtful friends!) Click here to sign up and access the full archive.
p.p.s. I am in the research phase of a project that involves identifying other small businesses doing parenting-adjacent work. In other words, businesses with goods or services that YOU, my clients– parents of kids from toddlers to young adults– might be interested in knowing about. This is mainly designed to be a service to my clients, but the other businesses will also get a visibility boost– win-win. (Side note: This is not a sales thing; it will not cost my clients anything to access the info or the businesses anything if they choose to participate.)
If you know anyone (personally, professionally, or online) whom you’ve used, who you follow, or who you just think is great, will you please forward their information to me? Do whatever is easiest– you can send me a screenshot or email, forward a post on social media, or just tag me on something you think might be interesting. I’ll take it from there. (If it’s a friend or colleague and you want me to let them know you sent me, please give me the okay for that. I’ll default to NOT mentioning you unless you tell me otherwise.)
I’m especially looking for businesses that can work with clients from anywhere, so an online business or service that doesn’t have to be in person is ideal. (For example, someone who offers an online course or sees clients online and can work their magic with anyone, anywhere.)
Below are some categories I’ve identified. It’s a huge list, but even if you have one or two ideas, that will help a LOT. I’m also open to any other categories I didn't think of!
Marriage or relationship coaching
Physical health and wellness (exercise coach, nutrition coach, etc.)
Meal planning for families
Organization/ personal organizers/ getting organized with kids
Time management
Book clubs for parents
Wealth management/ financial health for families
Sleep (for parents or kids)
Motherhood/ general mom wellness
Fatherhood/ general dad wellness
Mindfulness (for adults and/or kids)
Navigating sibling issues
Navigating technology with kids (screentime, online safety)
LGBTQ parenting (queer kids and/or queer parents)
Financial literacy for kids
Traveling with kids
Photography (likely photography of babies and kids, but open to others)
Gardening with kids
Pets (care and keeping of pets, or kids taking care of pets)
Personal style
Teaching kids kindness/ service
Teaching kids gratitude
Teaching kids social skills
Potty training
Picky eating
Friendship
Neurodivergence (in parents and/or kids)
Autism
ADHD
Sensory processing challenges
Play
Art (doing art with kids or taking kids to see art)
Sports
Literacy/reading
Consent/ body safety/ boundaries
Educational tips/ activities parents can do with kids
Sex education
Period/ puberty education
Substance use
College coaching
Launching young adults
I’ll be looking for input until the end of July, so if you come across anything between now and then, please send it my way!
Xo,
Cari
