“Mom! He’s looking at me!” (and other sibling drama decoded)
Happy Thursday! You made it!
If it feels like your home has become a battleground of nit-picking, poking, and constant bickering, you’re not alone. And no — you don’t just have to live with it.
Siblings sniping at each other is normal… but when it’s happening all the time? It starts to feel like emotional whack-a-mole. And no matter how many times you say, “Just let them have a turn!” or “Then don’t look at them!” — nothing really changes.
That’s because most of the time, you’re not dealing with a real problem. You’re dealing with a M.Y.O.B. issue. (That’s Mind Your Own Business, for anyone who missed the ‘80s).
These kinds of fights happen when one child inserts themselves into a sibling’s situation that has nothing to do with them. It’s not about fairness or justice — it’s about control, attention, or sheer boredom.
The good news? Kids can learn to pause before jumping in — and you can coach them how.
🧠 Real World Strategy:
When your child is butting into their sibling’s business, guide them to ask themselves:
“Does this have anything to do with me?” If the answer is no, they should slowly back away.
And if it does have something to do with them, BEFORE THEY SPEAK, teach them to ask:
Is it true?
Is it kind?
Is it helpful or necessary right now?
When they forget (and they will), you can gently prompt:
“Is this your problem to solve?”
“That’s not helpful or necessary.”
And if all else fails:
SHUT. IT. DOWN.
Reminder: You’re not trying to solve every argument. In fact, quite the opposite– you’re trying to teach them how to solve some things themselves by not getting involved at all. The truth is, kids don’t automatically know how to stay in their own lane. But with your support, they can learn when to step in — and when to step back.
It will take loads of repetition, but this one shift helps stop so many unnecessary fights before they start.
Because peace and quiet are not just dreams. They’re skills.
📚Resource of the Week:
The Sibling Social Filter can help everyone remember what to do in a M.Y.O.B. moment.
💬 Join the Conversation:
Find me where the slightly overwhelmed, curious parents gather: Bluesky / Instagram/ Tik-Tok
💌Newsletter Archive:
Missed a good one? Want to revisit past nuggets of wisdom? Find them all here.
👋 Need More Support?
If it feels like you’re stuck in an endless loop of sibling showdowns, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to figure it out by yourself.
You can explore more strategies like this inside Parenting in the Real World — a course designed to help you navigate the tough stuff with more clarity (and a lot less yelling).
Want more personalized help? Private and group coaching spots are available. Reach out here if you’re ready to get support that actually works.
You’ve got this.
Cari
p.s. Know another parent who could use short, sweet, and actually useful parenting tips? Forward this along! (And if someone sent this to you—nice work, you have thoughtful friends!) Click here to sign up and access the full archive.
