Pro Tips for Washing the [Metaphorical] Bowl
Happy Thursday! You made it!
I have tried many times throughout my life to invite patience and stillness into my body enough to meditate. While I haven’t mastered it, I’ve come across several ideas that have profoundly impacted my parenting.
Here’s one–
There’s a kind of very confusing short story in Zen tradition called a Koan (pronounced “Koh-ahn”), which seeks to teach a fundamental truth about the world. I don’t understand most of them– they are vague and confusing by design to make you think deep thoughts– but I came across a Koan that spoke to something in me:
A monk spoke to his master, “I have just entered the monastery. Please give me some guidance.”
The master asked, “Have you had breakfast yet?”
The monk answered, “Yes, I have eaten.”
The master replied, “Then wash the bowl.”
A Koan is supposed to mean something different to everyone who reads it, and it kind of loses a little something to have it explained. But for me, this four-line story is an acknowledgment that very often in life, the best thing to do next is the next simple thing. The way forward is to wash the bowl.
I have come back to this story so many times over the years that it has become shorthand in my house for doing the next simple thing. Sometimes when I find myself getting worked up, my partner whispers, “Wash the bowl,” and (because we agreed ahead of time that this is a welcome reminder to each other) it helps me remember to ask myself, “What’s my next move?”
💥Real World Strategy
Washing the bowl doesn’t mean avoiding the big work that needs to be done. It simply gives us permission to take a minute to figure out the next right move– even if it's a tiny one– before doing it.
🔋Resource of the Week
Looking for a little joy as we (in the northern hemisphere) round the final bend into spring? Allow me to [re]introduce you to The Laurie Berkner Band. We played so much music when my kids were little, but Laurie Berkner (or as my children called her, “Laurie Book-a-ner-ner”) was a perennial favorite. If you have young children (babies to preschoolers), take my word for it. You’re welcome. 🌙🦖🐝
🌊Use Your Membership to Dive Deeper
Want more where this came from? Check out Parenting in the Real World:
Know Your Boundaries (Level 1, Course 4, Section 3)
Hold Your Boundaries (Level 1, Course 4, Section 4)
Want to talk it through? Join us on our next coaching call.
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You’ve got this.
🩵Cari
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