One Trick to De-Escalate Teen Drama
Happy Thursday! You made it!
Yesterday, a client shared a story about her teenager’s meltdown. It all started when the parent brought up a very minor clarification about how the kids’ allowance would work. Suddenly, the child reacted strongly, launching into a passionate explanation of why the new policy wasn’t fair, how the parents had failed to teach them basic financial literacy, and even why a laundry list of other issues was entirely the parents’ fault (including, yes, the actual laundry).
My client handled it like a pro. She did not take the bait or react to the provocations – instead, she kept her cool. She knew that engaging would make things worse, but she also didn’t want to ignore the accusations completely.
Some kids, when emotionally flooded, throw out challenging topics one after the other, rapid-fire style. Instead of trying to address each one, try this:
Grab a pad or scrap of paper and start writing down everything they’re saying:
“Change the rules mid-stream”
“Didn’t teach basic financial literacy”
“Haven’t taught anything useful, like how to do the laundry”
Once they’ve finished their list, look at it calmly and say, “Wow. You’re really frustrated with me about a lot of things. That must be hard to carry around. Which of these do you want to talk about first?”
Instead of escalating the storm or dismissing their feelings (even if they sound irrational), this approach lets you stay calm, take their concerns seriously, and guide them from problem-finding to problem-solving.
📚Resource of the Week:
My FAVORITE resource about teens is The Teenage Brain by Frances E. Jensen. It’s a dense but quick read full of “Ah-ha! Moments.”
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You’ve got this.
Cari
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