Interrupt Interruptions
Happy Thursday! You made it!
Have you ever been dive-bombed by a fly? It is irritating, infuriating, and impossible to ignore. The feeling I have in my body when I think about getting dive-bombed by a fly is the same feeling I have in my body when I think about getting interrupted. I truly hate it, and not just because it’s rude but also because getting interrupted makes it impossible to think even one simple thought. (And thinking thoughts is hard enough already.)
The best way to stop your child’s interrupting habit is to ignore it, but that is like trying to ignore an aggressive fly– basically impossible. And practically speaking, ignoring it makes many kids interrupt again and again because they think you are somehow not hearing them. But if you answer the interrupter, you’re reinforcing the very habit you’re trying to extinguish.
So what is a parent to do? Here are three Real World Strategies to try:
Put your hand on the child’s shoulder without giving them any other attention. This says, “I see that you’re here, and you’ll have to wait.” If they are constant interrupters, you can even plan ahead and make this a non-verbal signal to remind them to wait before speaking.
Make eye contact and say to them, “I’m on the phone. I will speak to you when I get off. Please wait.” Then, break eye contact and continue your phone conversation. They will 100% try to just tell you one little thing, and if you attend to or answer them, you will have just taught them how to stealthily interrupt. (In other words, once you tell them you will talk to them when you get off the phone, keep your word.)
Make your thinking visible to the child by narrating what is happening out loud. This might sound like saying to your friend on the phone, “Hey, I want to let you know that my kiddo is trying to talk to me right now, even though they see that I’m on the phone. I’m going to really try to concentrate on our conversation because we’re really working on not interrupting.” Your tone is key here. Try to deliver this message in a totally neutral way, without sounding angry and without making it sound funny or silly.
These strategies aren’t going to prevent your child from interrupting, I promise. But they will give you something different to try instead of the old song and dance.
Resource of the Week: THE BEST BOOK for kids about interrupting is Interrupting Chicken by Ezra Stein. Don’t take my word for it; go check it out!
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Want to explore how I can help parenting make sense, even when you feel like you’re getting dive- bombed? Reach out through the contact page of my website!
You’ve got this,
Cari
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