Holiday Gratitude… The Real Kind (Not the “Say Thank You!” Kind)
Happy Thursday! You made it!
Whether you’re lighting the menorah, trimming a tree, or simply trying to keep everyone fed and occupied until January – welcome to the time of year when joy meets chaos… with a side of overstimulation.
One of the biggest points of excitement for our kids is, of course, getting presents. And this brings up an evergreen parental worry:
“What if my kid is visibly, noticeably, obviously unhappy when they open a gift?”
I don’t mean just a little bummed, or just in front of you. I mean the dreaded, loud, “I already have this,” or “I wanted the other thing” … in front of grandparents, cousins, or the great aunt who lovingly knitted that very itchy sweater.
Here’s the truth: Even when kids are grateful, holiday adrenaline can override every social skill they’ve ever learned. Big feelings + big expectations = unpredictable reactions.
But this doesn’t mean all is lost. It just means we can think ahead and parent proactively instead of panicking and over-correcting reactively.
And remember this: Kids learn about gratitude by experiencing how good it feels to give, not just by receiving. That means we can help kids feel more grateful by shifting the focus from receiving to giving.
If the “I wants” feel extra loud this year (you’re not alone), keep bringing the conversation back to generosity by:
Donating gently used toys
Assembling care packages
Making cards for residents in senior communities or assisted living
Baking something to give away
Choosing or making a small gift to give to someone else
Real World Strategy:
Before the festivities start, spend a few minutes setting clear expectations:
Tell (or remind) your kids in advance exactly what to do or say in a variety of situations. This isn’t over-controlling. This is direct, loving clarity.
Act it out! Seriously — role-play the do’s and don’ts. Make it silly. Pretend you’re the kid opening a gift and dramatically yell, “BUT I WANTED A PUPPY!” Then, role-play better options. When we bring play into social learning, it sticks.
Acknowledge that disappointment is normal. Someone might give them something they don’t love. Their job? Tolerate the moment and remain gracious. Your job? Stay calm and supportive, even if you have to give them a little reminder.
🌊Want to dive deeper? To learn more about navigating big emotions and supporting kids through overstimulation and disappointment, check out Parenting in the Real World: Regulate (Level 2, Course 5).
📚Resource/Activity of the Week:
If you like practicing social thinking games to build perspective-taking, flexible thinking, and social awareness, try:
Should I or Shouldn’t I? Elementary School Version
Should I or Shouldn’t I? Teen Version
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👋 Need More Support?
If you feel overwhelmed by the emotional roller coaster of holiday parenting, reach out here. Parenting doesn’t have to be this hard — even in December.
However you celebrate — with candles, cookies, chaos, or all of the above — I hope your holidays bring moments of peace, connection, and joy.
I’m signing off to spend time with my family until January 5th. I hope you have moments of pure joy as you celebrate with each other. See you in January!
You’ve got this. And I’ve got you.
🩵Cari
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