The #1 Life Skill Kids Need
Happy Thursday! You made it!
I spend a LOT of time feeling very uncomfortable. I often find social situations to be a heavy emotional lift (so exhausting and uncomfortable); I have to do a LOT of things outside my comfort zone for work (public speaking, social media, self-promotion… uncomfortable); I find keeping up with “everyday life” overwhelming at times (so many family needs and appointments to keep track of); and I am a parent, which is perhaps the most demanding and uncomfortable role of all. (Rewarding, yes. Uncomfortable, also yes.)
Most adults I know are uncomfortable a huge percentage of the time. Getting comfortable with some discomfort is THE TOP SKILL kids need to learn on their path to becoming successful adults because, let’s be honest, if they are to live a rich, fulfilling, stimulating life, they will be uncomfortable a LOT.
And yet, we often (accidentally) teach our kids to avoid discomfort. We do this by solving problems for them, rescuing them from distress, and removing obstacles from their path before our kids can even try dealing with them. In fact, these behaviors are what a lot of people equate with showing parental love.
But here’s the thing: If we want to teach our kids to be problem solvers, we have to be okay with discomfort because discomfort happens right at the edge of our capacity. You know what else happens right at the edge of our capacity? Learning. Growth. Development. Problem solving. Increased independence. Confidence. Pride.
To learn more about how to support a child without rescuing them, check out this week’s blog post (link below).
Tip of the Week: Instead of jumping in to solve, resolve, or rescue, try this:
Pause. Notice what’s happening in your body (likely some discomfort).
Instead of offering your idea for solving their problem, ask your child what THEY think they should/ could do to solve it.
If you can’t resist saying something, you might ask: “What would support look like from me right now?” or “Do you want to do some problem-solving together?”
Then listen.
Want to explore how I can help parenting a little less uncomfortable? Reach out to schedule an exploration call.
You’ve got this,
Cari
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